


For Sentimental Reasons

by EntreNous



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst and Humor, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Build, Stand Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3895351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EntreNous/pseuds/EntreNous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Spock and Jim never speak of love, but there are many ways they show it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Sentimental Reasons

**************

**1.**

**************

"So we're all agreed," Jim said pleasantly as he looked around the conference table.

"Damn it, Jim, we're not all agreed," Bones broke in. "I don't think you could come up with a crazier plan if you tried, and I for one am not on board with it."

"Sulu?" Jim asked his helmsman. 

"Don't look at me. I think you're nuts just for considering it."

"Captain," Spock admonished Sulu.

Sulu rolled his eyes. "I think you're nuts for just considering it, _Captain_."

"Oh my god," Jim exclaimed, slumping back in his seat and staring at the ceiling. "You're all the worst."

"Because we don't want to have a mandatory talent show?" Uhura asked skeptically. "It's one thing to try to keep everyone busy while we're on a milk run mission, Captain. But you can't make people actually sing and dance for you if they don't want to. Everyone's sure to get upset at you."

"See, but that's the beauty of it," Jim argued. "Everyone might hate my guts for making them come up with improv sketches or whatever, but at least they'll be busy. And they'll be hating my guts _together_."

"Mister Spock?" Chekov implored in a wavering voice (he'd been looking shell-shocked ever since Jim told him he could totally do a lip sync number if he didn't want to sing).

"Great, Ensign; appeal to the least fun-loving guy in the room," Jim said under his breath. When Spock leveled a look at him, Jim waved at him to speak his mind. "Go ahead, Commander. I know you're going to shoot me down. Might as well get it over with."

"The Captain's idea is not without merit," Spock began.

"Hold up, you're _on my side_?" Jim couldn't help but blurt out. 

Spock's gaze flickered to him briefly before he again addressed the rest of the room. "Such activities are widely understood to promote what is known as 'group bonding.' And should, as the Captain anticipates, the crew unite in making their plans, or find common ground in their annoyance at the requirement itself, the entire exercise should provide ample diversion from the characteristic discontent common to a period of extended traveling."

Uhura arched both eyebrows. "Spock, if everyone has to take part, you know that means you have to also, right?"

Spock looked very dignified as he drew himself up in his chair. "I am willing to play my Vulcan lyre for the crew's entertainment."

All the others burst in with objections, talking over one another.

"I don't care what you say, I'm not --" Bones began.

"Security is _not_ going to be happy about this," Uhura pointed out.

"This sucks," Sulu exclaimed, before adding, "Sir," reluctantly.

"But no, I cannot do the lip sync," Chekov pointed out anxiously.

While they all complained and argued, Jim leaned over to nudge Spock's shoulder with his own. "Okay, I definitely take back what I said about you being the least fun-loving guy in the room."

Spock nodded at him gravely. "I appreciate your reconsideration, Captain."

Jim grinned at him, ignoring Bones's declaration that he would only participate in Uhura's suggested group dance number "over my rigor-mortis beset corpse."

**************

**2.**

**************

"The Gartenian sunsets are known the galaxy over for their beauty," the ambassador murmured in Jim's ear.

"Oh?" Jim sipped on the chartreuse liquid he had been given after the formal dinner had ended, and tried not to be too obvious about edging away. The Gartens were a pretty friendly species, but even accounting for that didn't explain why this guy kept trying to get so handsy.

The funny thing was, this type of thing was usually what Jim considered just about the perfect scenario: a clear no-strings-attached situation; a good looking alien who was down for whatever; and only one night on planet, letting Jim get the hell out of Dodge without having to deal with any potential emotional fallout. But for whatever reason, Jim just hadn't been into this kind of fuck-and-run thing lately -- not for the last six or eight months now, he realized.

"Hey, whoa," he said abruptly, choking on his green drink when the ambassador briefly cupped Jim's ass and squeezed.

The man sidled up closer to him. "If you would like, James Kirk, I could show you the splendor of one such remarkable event right now."

"The Captain will be unable to accompany you," Spock intoned, and hey, when the hell had he arrived on the scene? As far as Jim knew, Spock had beamed back up an hour ago when their negotiations had concluded, while Jim stayed to do a little glad-handing (though not that kind of glad-handing, he thought to himself resentfully as he aimed his ass away from the ambassador's reach).

"I feel certain the Captain can decide for himself," the ambassador objected, showing all his teeth in a wide smile. He did take a step back, however, at Spock's forbidding look. 

"Unfortunately an urgent matter requires his presence," Spock said. He bowed to the ambassador and added, "We regret the abrupt end of what has otherwise been an enjoyable visit advantageous to both parties."

The ambassador nodded slowly, apparently mollified by Spock's diplomatic damage control. "Then I bid you farewell, representatives of Starfleet." With a wink for Jim, he sailed off to join the remaining dinner guests.

"Spock, what the hell happened?" Jim asked in a low voice as he yanked out his communicator. "Klingons? An infectious outbreak? Critical orders from the admiralty?"

Spock shook his head. "Please, Captain, come with me and we will sort out all the details." 

As he hesitated, Jim could see the ambassador peering back in their direction, as if contemplating a return. Jim glanced back to his First Officer to find Spock's brows were drawn in ever so slightly, his eyes subtly narrowed -- in other words, the Vulcan version of worried as all get out.

"Two to beam up," Jim said quietly into his communicator, his eyes on Spock as he awaited the confirmation.

When they arrived back aboard the Enterprise, however, they were met not with a frantic Bones or a strategic team or even a message from the brass, but just the regular ensign assigned to the transporter room. 

"Any further orders, Captain?" the man asked, stifling a yawn. 

"Spock, what --" Jim began to ask.

"Dismissed, ensign," Spock pronounced.

When the tired ensign left, Jim eyed Spock, planting his hands on his hips. "Start talking."

Spock opened his mouth and closed it again. "Captain," he said after a pause. "I may have misrepresented the situation to some degree. When you did not return as early as expected, I anticipated you would encounter some enthusiastic resistance from the ambassador. His attaché confided to me during the dinner that he was most taken with you. And knowing your disinclination to engage with such prospects of late, I could not help but feel you would be best served with a ready excuse to depart at once."

Jim shook his head. "You misrepresented -- wait, Spock. You _lied_ to get me away from a letch?"

Spock tipped his chin up slightly. "It was merely a strategic distortion of the circumstances, wholly intended for your benefit. Given that the Enterprise requires your full attention, and would be ill-served by your irritability should the ambassador prove annoyingly persistent, it was only logical I intervene."

Part of Jim wanted to object to the idea that he needed Spock to make his excuses for him. Another, bigger part wanted to tell him that it was none of his damn business who Jim might or might not want to spend time with. But the part that won out was his impulse to laugh out loud and say, "Spock, you lied to help me weasel out of hooking up with an ambassador. That's _hilarious_!"

"Indeed," Spock said stiffly. "I am pleased you appreciate the humor in the situation."

"Come on," Jim said cheerfully, slapping Spock on the shoulder and guiding them out of the room. "Logical lying! This calls for some of that Balerian whiskey I won in that poker game on Tersian II last month."

"If you insist, Captain," Spock conceded, following Jim out.

**************

**3.**

**************

"You have to take leave, Scotty," Jim said as patiently as he was able.

"But why?" Scotty looked genuinely mystified. "I've got some new ideas for tweaking the engines, and this is the perfect opportunity to give them a go. We'll be docked for two days; lots of time to work out the kinks before we take our lady out for a spin again."

"Because regulations say you must take breaks once in a while," Jim told him. He signed the PADD in front of him with a flourish. "There you go. You're fully approved for fun in the sun -- or suns, I think -- at the nearest leisure resort. Captain's orders."

Scotty grumbled as he grabbed the PADD and left the conference room. "-- don't see why _I_ have to -- the Commander gets to spend his leave shutting himself up in the laboratories doing all those complicated experiments, lucky bastard --"

Jim made it ten paces toward the Officer's Mess before Scotty's words sunk in and he pivoted to stride in the opposite direction.

"What's this about you spending all of your leave doing experiments?" he burst out as he walked into the main lab to find Spock bent over a microscope.

Spock straightened and blinked at him. "You approved the plan only two days ago."

"Yeah? Well, I'm un-approving it." Jim grabbed Spock's shoulders and tugged him so they were facing each other full on. "Plus I only approved it when I thought that was just your usual science thing you've got going on, not made up specifically to avoid R&R! What is it about this crew being such crazy workaholics? You need time off to do stuff you want to do, okay?"

"I intend to spend my time off studying the functions of a particular enzyme in order to write an academic paper, as this is, as you say, what I want to do," Spock replied curtly. He stepped out of Jim's hold and gave him a severe stare. "You will spend your leave pursuing your own leisure activities. Why must you interfere with my plans just because they differ in tenor from your own?"

"Spock, I'm trying to help you out! Hey, you could come with me," Jim offered. "There are some cool dance clubs I was going to check out, and there's an amazing pub that serves ales from all the quadrants." He sighed as Spock scrutinized him, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Wait, no, you hate bars and stuff. Fine, there must be something else fun we can find for you to do." When Spock remained silent, he added, "Believe it or not, I get that I can't make you spend your whole leave hanging out with me." 

"Very well," Spock said almost immediately. "I will accompany you during the shore leave."

Jim wanted to say, "Good!" in a triumphant voice or even jump up and do a fist-pump to celebrate. It was just so rare that he got Spock to give in like that. But it was hard to do much of anything with his mouth hanging open. He only closed it when he realized Spock had already neatly packed away his slides and other materials.

"Shall we?" Spock asked at last, with a chivalric gesture at the door indicating Jim should precede him. Dumbly, Jim nodded and led the way. 

**************

**4.**

**************

"It is inadvisable for you to meet with the Helosian leaders on your own," Spock said abruptly. "Do not go."

Jim paused from where he'd been about to step on the transporter. "Um. But that's the whole point of this mission. They're going crazy launching missiles to neighboring planets and for whatever reason, they won't talk to anyone else about a cease-fire but me. Unless I missed something, we all agreed it was the only way, me going alone. Hell, even Pike approved it."

"Upon further reflection, I do not think it wise for you to insert yourself into this conflict," Spock replied. "The Helosians are unpredictable and vengeful. Do not visit the planet, Captain."

Bones and Scotty exchanged glances from where they stood near the transporter controls. 

Jim gritted his teeth and didn't look at Spock until he stood on the platform facing him. "How about no? The next time you have objections to a mission, try not waiting until the last second to voice a protest, okay? And don't fucking try to countermand my orders." He nodded to Scotty. "Energize."

Later, Jim ended up in sickbay with two broken arms, a huge sword gash in his side, and after-effects of poisoning making him nauseous and delirious. He could have sworn the first time he swam up to near-consciousness he felt someone stroking the hair back from his forehead. But when he made an inquiring noise, the touch vanished. He groaned and sank back down. Whatever Bones had injected him with, it was powerful stuff, but the hallucinations were a bitch.

The next time he woke and could actually peel his eyes open, the first thing he saw was Spock, seated at the side of the biobed. "Gonna say I told you so?" Jim slurred. 

"Negative," Spock said hoarsely. 

Even though his vision was still kind of blurry, Jim could make out Spock's tightly curled fists pressed against his thighs. Jim meant to tell Spock to relax, that Bones would fix him up in no time and Spock could yell at him all he wanted soon enough. But he went under again, fading out on the sight of Spock watching over him.

**************

**5.**

**************

"You know you didn't have to come with me, Bones," Jim said for the fourth time that morning.

Bones ignored him with a wordless grunt, like he had all the other times. Jim had to stare down at his tightly folded hands and breathe in and out several times so he wouldn't embarrass them both blathering about how grateful he actually was Bones was accompanying him.

"Did Sam say if he was going to be able to make it?" Bones an hour later asked when the shuttle began the process of docking at the space station. 

Jim shook his head, watching the ground crew complete the landing. "Sent a recording. He couldn't get away."

"Hell, I'm sorry, kid," Bones said gruffly. 

Jim just nodded as he gazed out the portal, mentally calculating how long it might take them to reach the function room where the service would be observed. Next to him, Bones grasped his shoulder, and Jim let himself lean into the contact for just a moment. 

As they exited onto the concourse, Bones muttered, "Well, at least you'll have me there by your side, and the hobgoblin too."

"Wait, what?" Jim asked in confusion. "Spock's not here."

But before Bones could answer, Jim spotted Spock among those watching the docking shuttles. He looked dignified and solemn as he searched the crowd, his dress uniform pristine and his gaze sharp. "Spock's coming to my mom's funeral? "

Bones gave him a sidelong look before he raised his eyes heavenward. "I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't work out. Must have been a job and a half, finagling the schedule to allow for the both of you being off ship and getting himself here in time." 

Spock stopped scanning the groups of passengers as he evidently located Jim and Bones. He immediately set off in their direction.

"I mean, my own brother couldn't manage it," Jim said softly. "He didn't have to."

"Didn't he?" Bones asked cryptically as Spock approached them, his expression somber, his dark eyes fixed on Jim.

 

**************

**\+ 1**

**************

"Now, you're sure you want to sign on again as my First Officer?" Jim asked with a grin. "Because now that we've completed our five-year mission, I know Starfleet's been talking about offering you command of your own ship again." He didn't fill in the rest of the gossip he'd heard, that the vessel would focus its attentions almost entirely focused on scientific field research and experiments conducted in its state-of-the-art science labs.

"I am aware of the opportunity," Spock answered. He sat rigid across the table from Jim, regarding him evenly. 

Jim leaned back and tried for another smile. When he couldn't muster one, he glanced down as if reviewing the form on his PADD. "So that's got to be pretty enticing. More than heading into deep space again with a pain in the ass like me, right?"

"I have already informed Starfleet that I will only accept an assignment if it is aboard the Enterprise."

Jim nodded and prepared to sign off on the PADD. The stylus in his hand hovered over the signature area as the words in front of him began to swim. 

"Captain?" Spock asked, his voice tinged with concern.

"Wait," Jim said under his breath. He let the stylus fall to the table with a clatter. "This is crazy. Spock, you could command --"

"I am satisfied serving under you," Spock insisted. "There is no other possibility that would interest me."

Jim's gaze snapped up to search Spock's face. "Why?"

Spock did not answer, but there a slight olive flush fanned out over his cheeks. 

"Spock?" Jim tried. He flattened his palms on the tabletop; it was the only way he could keep his hands from shaking. 

"I would hope I have proven my loyalty unquestionably," Spock said. It was only because Jim knew him so well by now that he could hear the faintest trace of a tremble in his voice. 

"You have. Of course you have, hundreds of times."

"Then allow me to remain by your side." Those dark eyes watched him intently. 

"Honestly, I've got no clue why I'm trying to convince you," Jim said half to himself. "I don't want you anywhere else but with me." 

Spock's fingers curled gently over Jim's left hand, his touch cool and dry. When Jim glanced up, he found a mix of relief and fond indulgence in Spock's gaze. 

"I believe you are endeavoring to make certain I choose the option best for my career. Yet there is little logic in persuading me to take another opportunity rather than remaining aboard the Enterprise with you, when we both desire the latter outcome." 

"That's, yeah," Jim said roughly. "I want what's best for you."

"If that is the case, you should certainly approve my request." Spock indicated the PADD with his free hand, and it was only then that Jim realized they were effectively still holding hands.

He could have laughed and let go, signed with a flourish, clapped Spock on the shoulder and hustled them both out of the room. But instead Jim turned his own hand, lacing their fingers together, smiling to himself when Spock's hand squeezed his back. And with his right hand, he signed the orders affirming Spock as his First Officer for their next mission.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt [at my tumblr](http://entrenous88.tumblr.com/) from firstbestdestinys, requesting "five ways Spock said I love you...and the one time Jim Kirk said it back." I've gone against the letter of the prompt somewhat, in that neither Jim nor Spock utters those words specifically, but I hope you'll find this story takes to heart the spirit of the request.


End file.
